(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure
And really... who wants to carry that burden as a character flaw? It's all so negative. We trip over ourselves not to be 'selfish', don't we? In our attempt to avoid the whole notion of giving ourselves any kind of profit or pleasure (get your mind out of the gutter), we deplete ourselves of what moves us. I decided to rebrand the whole 'selfish' thing. The negative bits can still be referred to as 'selfish', no problem; however, I believe another, gentler term is required for all the positive bits. I've coined that term 'self-giving'.
It's good to give to ourselves. We need time to ourselves, we need to go out with friends, we need time to develop our interests, we need to expand our minds... all of that, is self-giving. Taking time away from our crying babies, the housework, the work drama... all the obligations. The more we fill ourselves with things that make us laugh, make us dream, make us breathe more easily, make us focus... the kinder our world becomes. It is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves... therefore for others.
Once, while I was a single mother and travelling on business, I was sitting on the plane listening to the safety instructions. I had my big a-ha moment when the flight attendant explained that should the air pressure in the cabin decrease, the air mask would deploy and hang in front of our faces. We were to put the mask over OUR nose and mouth and start breathing in a calm manner BEFORE helping anyone else (whether it be an elderly person or child). WOW... it hit me like a ton of bricks. How can we help anyone unless we are healthy mentally, emotionally and spiritually? It's imperative that we follow our tug and take care of our needs. When we're feeling good and happy that just ripples out. And that's a good thing. So go on, be self-giving!
I would love to hear your thoughts.
Let's start a conversation on Facebook!