I finished writing my book "Following my tug... all the way to Costa Rica!". This time last year, I was knee-deep in editing, and man, what an experience that was! It feels like all that happened 5 years ago already. It was such a deep and profound experience... transformational in so many ways. I can honestly say it's a goal I had had for most of my life and to have reached the finish line was a remarkable achievement for me. But the richness... the deep personal satisfaction was in the doing, was showing up every single day. That was a big lesson for me.
Once my book was uploaded and published on Kobo Books and Smashwords, a friend sent me a link to a writing contest. I signed up for the free seminars. I was pumped. I listened to over a dozen professionals working in the publishing industry from writing to marketing to everything in between. Listening and writing the contest proposal thwarted me forward... it propelled me into creating a new website – a place where people could find me and learn more about my book. It was all to meet the writing contest criteria... at first.
Then something happened.
I became an entrepreneur. I combined my skills and gifts and put myself out there.
I had paying clients. Received amazing feedback. Yes, this is what I wanted to do. Helping other women feels just so damn good! Then I got stuck. My energy shifted from being totally excited to completely full of doubt. Back and forth.
I read tons of books... "push through," they'd remind me. Resistance is the enemy.
So, 2014 was a roller coaster ride. A truly personal one. I had to let go of a lot of beliefs and stories that have been swirling in my head for so many years (I have a natural gift helping others sort through their mess, but I'm not always brilliant at sorting out my own stuff). I'm good at what I do, but I have no system. I know I can help people, but all the technology stuff scares me. I know I can serve with all my experience, but how do I "sell" to people without compromising my integrity... how do I do it without that icky feeling. I know I love money and understand it's an energy exchange and provides oodles of freedom, and I also know that I always have enough, and yet I worry that I won't be able to take care of myself. These are the contradictions I face.
So, 2014 was about doing A LOT of inner work. It's now up to me to make it mean something and take it further... lean into those boundaries. And it's obvious I just can't do it alone. So, I followed my tug and made a decision. I hired a business coach. We start next Wednesday. Yay!
Manifesting your dream takes action. Dedication. Discipline even. The end result rarely lands in your lap by sprinkling a pinch of pixie dust. And it rarely looks like a straight line... you will zig and you will zag. But, always check in with your tug. Ego loves the status quo and will set up all kinds of reasons why not to take that leap. We're all pros at self-sabotage. That muscle is strong. It no longer needs exercising...
It's time to build the dream muscle! It's time to work while you're dreaming and create a great day, a great week, a great month... one by one, step by step until you've created a great year. That's how it's done.
Wishing you the very best New Year!